NFL Draft Rite

The 2021 NFL Draft is finally, mercifully, almost here. Everyone being stuck inside all year has launched discourse into a dark but also golden age: there are so many more bad takes, but occasionally some good ones too. All this back and forth is exactly why we haven’t written a mock draft yet this year. (Also, we are lazy and writing mock drafts is time consuming.) Instead, we have locked ourselves in separate, discourse-less bunkers, crafting our objectively correct opinions about every prospect in this year’s draft. Which leads us here. 7 rounds, 259 selections, only 7 trades because we gave up in the fourth round. Welcome to hell. A few notes before we get to the picks. We both drafted for 16 teams and rigged it so that we had as close to the same number of total picks as possible. Alex started with an extra pick since there’s an odd number. We also rigged it so that we could both draft for our favorite teams, which could be any of our respective 16, depending on how you feel about the outcome of the draft. Even though we both “controlled” half the league, every pick was made more or less collaboratively, except the especially bad ones, which were all the result of one of us going rouge.